Model’s experience: “Just out of the womb”

This is the original version of tonny’s experience while being suspended for his first time during an event called Devil’s Night hosted by the “Solo Amas” group. I’d love to really thank tonny for the inspiration he brought me with his trust and his surrender. I share it with you right bellow and from now on it will be part of our section: “Students and models experiences


Haru TsubakiHaruTsubaki


“Just out of the womb”

Past Friday October 23rd 2015 I went to a place were I knew I was about to have a great time, but never expected the best and most intense experience ever lived in my 29 years of life to be awaiting for me.  Once inside the place, my attention was immediately caught by the area where a magic being was performing some kind of art totally unknown for me. I was not experienced in that and I only knew that it was something from Japan. I got closer and looked for a more comfortable place where I could attentively watch without missing any detail. After some time witnessing that I felt the strong urge to experience what I was watching.

I dared to because I knew and I felt that I was about to do it with whom I felt representing the absolute perfection to me. She radiated state of the art professionalism, gifted with an incredible beauty, an inner shine full of wonderful energies, and she was able to let me trust I was with the right person, letting me surrender to her immediately and fearlessly.

tonny by HaruTsubaki
tonny by HaruTsubaki

As soon as I felt the first rope I lowered my sight and I got lost. Thanks to her magic I felt an immediate connection with her and with what we were about to go through. A few minutes later I asked her if I was allowed to close my eyes. After closing them, and less than 15 minutes later I felt myself entering that mighty and magic world known as subspace. I assumed it was going to be intense, but it exceeded my expectations.

With that energy exchange, and communicating ourselves through the ropes, I felt her filling my body with beautiful, pure, and vital energies. I felt her close to me at every moment. Every lace she did, she deliberately took a couple of seconds to get my body tight to hers, transmitting safety and connection while doing so. All along that I felt her flying with me and getting my mind higher and higher.

That session started late in the night and was pretty long. People started to leave and there were only a few of them around us, as a friend of mine commented me later on, and it allowed us some needed intimacy. My mind was gone by that moment, having lost all sensation of time and space. I didn’t have a clue of what was happening or who was around us.  I was in that awesome universe where there was only she, me and the ropes.

As soon as I thought I had reached a deep subspace state, she automatically brought more of her beautiful energies, turning my journey deeper and more intense. Gifted with a remarkable capacity not only to read my body (which was never exposed to any harm as I felt always taken care by her), but to read my mind and my inner self without any words… MAGIC.

At the time to bring me down and physically stand up on my own, and due to the deep insight journey I was into, I was in some kind of unconscious state. Some people worried when they saw me in such state, but her flawless reading of my mind perfectly knew where I was. Thanks to her professionalism and ability to feel it, she choose not to lose her energies telling anybody I was OK. She kept on close to me in that journey without losing connection at any moment. It was such an incredible landing… My mind was completely gone, my limp body was slowly and subtly taken down, softly and protected at every moment as my body reached her arms. As soon as I was down and felt within her arms I entered a very private universe. There was only joy, peace and plenitude there, all beautiful and renewed energies, until I stated to slowly open my eyes, barely coming back to reality.

I gazed at her and I couldn’t say thanks with my mouth. It was only my face’s expression speaking. I couldn’t believe what we’ve just lived. It was some unexplainable happiness… I soon managed to say “thank you”, and she replied me “thank you for trusting me”, and that closed a perfect trip, so unique and special from any point you can view it. From starting to end everything flowed naturally.

As soon as I’ve been able to stand up I saw very few people around us, all of them with happy faces. My all life best friend, who is just getting into the community, told me he felt goosebumps and felt really moved by watching me. I wasn’t able to speak much yet. I just kept saying thanks, and more thanks… I didn’t know how to express so much gratefulness. Then, the first sentence that came to my mind was “I feel like just out of the womb”. My whole being felt renewed, purified and flooded with incredible energies.

Many thanks for letting me feel and live this experience that will accompany me for all eternity.



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